Hi there!
I have been struggling with my creativity over the last months. Or my creative self worth if that term makes any sense. Nothing I did felt "original" and thus I didn't feel like a creative person. Instead I felt like I was just "copying" other peoples creativity. After "all" I did was follow pattern and that felt so copycat like.
Instagram and Facebook didn't help. Don't get me wrong: I love Instagram - I love how it allows me to connect to people all over the world and I have spent more (!) my fair share drooling of amazing crochet pictures. Still, lately I felt like everyone there was soooo creative - everyone except me. Sometimes I even felt ashamed when someone complimented me on my newest blanket because hey, all I did was take some yarn and work someone else's pattern.
I am not trying to whine here or am in anyway seeking for sympathy. Actually, it took me quite some time to gather the courage to write this post. In the end I figured if I felt ashamed about this "lack of creativity" or felt intimidated by everyone else wonderful works, I probably aren't the only one. As I recently learnt that shame hates being talked about (I currently reading "I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from What Will People Think? to I Am Enough: Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power" from Brené Brown), I am talking about it now.
The more I thought about creativity, the more I realized that it is shouldn't feel like a burden. Also it doesn't depend on doing "original" work, creativity doesn't mean one has to create something which hasn't never been there before (because hey, that would be pretty hard, wouldn't it). Creating something new also mean one crochets a blanket following an exciting pattern - in my understanding that is an act of creativity because one is creating a new thing from something else and while someone else has made it too, doesn't mean ones new creation isn't new or unique. I am rambling here but I hope you get the essence of what I am trying to say.
So now I am trying to feel "self worthy" again in regard to my crochet works. Yes, I don't create new patterns (actually I hardly ever do) and I follow other people's pattern. But each of my works is still an act of creative creation and the finished item is part of "me".
Take care
Anne
P.S. In case you are wondering... the pics are from the two projects I am currently working on. Both them are made based on other peoples patterns.
The blanket is "Begin the Beguine" from PollyPlum. I did however pic the colors (Dark Brown, Mocha and Black in Special DK from Stylecraft) - and to be honest, I realized that I am no good with dark colors! My next projects will have rainnnbboowws again!
The ghost is made from the hipster ghost pattern from Crafteando.
